Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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