ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
