clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
