Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
