I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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