Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Are we still banned from the library?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
