shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
