Your dad touched me again.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
