Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
