Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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