i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
