Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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