I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
