You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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