After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
