My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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