just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
