think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Mom said you looked used
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
