we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
