his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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