Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
