Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
