Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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