You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
