I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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