11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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