I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
