What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Randomize
