found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
