She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
