So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
