I think i sorta joined a cult last night
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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