addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
