you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Who died my cat blue again?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
