I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
We named our party play list daddy issues
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
