why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
