: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
