Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
