I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My bed is full of blood and feathers
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
