We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Just cropdusted the office
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
