my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
