no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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