You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
