She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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