that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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