You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
