a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
