bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
