will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Randomize
