omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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