Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
